


Be Careful What You Wish For

by SugarCrystal



Category: Red Dwarf
Genre: Angst, Internal Monologue, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-14
Updated: 2017-12-14
Packaged: 2019-02-14 14:09:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13009494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SugarCrystal/pseuds/SugarCrystal
Summary: Rimmer angst. All he wanted was for Lister to stay with him.





	Be Careful What You Wish For

Ever since I made second technician, I had a string of third technicians come and go. Assistants and bunkmates. Mostly men, a few women. None of them lasted long.

Some of them were promoted past me, passed their exams and climbed the ranks while I failed everything I tried and was stuck as a second technician. 

Some of them put in for transfers to other shifts after they apparently decided that I was impossible to work with for some reason. Hard to work with? _Me_? What have _I_ ever done that would make me hard to work with? I ask you! I just try to do a good job!

And some of them had only ever intended to be there temporarily and left when their contracts were up.

Over the years they came and went and I never had the chance to build up much of a relationship with any of them. And then you came along, Listy. I'll never forget the first time I saw you, when Todhunter brought you to me in the bunkroom.

"This is your new third technician, Dave Lister."

Absurd haircut and grubby t-shirt aside, you were the most beautiful young man I'd ever seen. Your amazing soft brown skin, your gorgeous dark eyes, your cute smile.

And I hoped so much that this one was going to stay. Stay with me forever.

And you did.

But not under the circumstances I wanted.

We weren't supposed to be trapped on the ship for the rest of our lives, stuck in deep space, three million years away from a solar system and an Earth that might not even exist anymore. More importantly, I wasn't supposed to be dead!

And you were supposed to be with me because you _wanted_ to be, because you _chose_ to be, not because life hadn't given you a choice in the matter. You wouldn't have chosen to be with me, would you, Listy? You don't love me, you don't even seem to like me. Is that my fault? Did I do everything wrong?

I wanted a real life and a future with you. We could have gone to Earth, maybe to Liverpool. I'd have loved to have seen Liverpool, the city that created you. Or Mars, or Mimas, or Titan. I'd even take Io again over this, or your ridiculous idea of Fiji and wading around in three feet of water.

And instead of that, I'm an electronic ghost, you're deeply unhappy, and we can't go anywhere. 

And I've got you forever. Just like I wanted.

Even when things go right for me, they still find a way to go horribly wrong.


End file.
